Having children comes in handy when you get the chance to read books like Artemis Fowl. The novels by Eoin Colfer deal with a young lad Artemis Fowl, a child genius with a bent towards crime. He catches a LEPrecon (Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance) captain called Holly Short, an elf with an auburn crewcut, hazel eyes, and a chatty mouth, in the hopes to hold her for a ransom of fairy gold. He is aided and abetted by Domovoi Butler his body guard and butler (Artemis by the way comes from a well to do family).

Commander of the LEPrecon is one Julius Root, who smokes noxious fungus cigars, and has a short temper which earns him the nickname of "Beetroot". He and Foaly, a lone centaur (LEPrecon's technological genius) plot to get Holly back without giving up any gold.
There is also Mulch Diggums a kleptomaniacal dwarf with explosive flatulence brought in by Julius to break into Fowl manor. Mulch tunnels using his unhingeable jaw, accelerated digestion, and loose trouser flap.

The stories have now gained enough readership to merit being made into a movie with Robert De Niro and Jane Rosenthal(Meet the Fockers, Rent) as producers.

If you have (or don't have) kids these stories make great bed time reading and the mix of adventure and humour have lead to them being referred to as "Die Hard with fairies."